If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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