Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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