I must be too annoying 4 u.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
