hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize