So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
