the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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