Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
