lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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