Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
