Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
