Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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