hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize