ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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