It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
