1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize