Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
im holly from the hills drunk
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
