yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
