It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
4 words: hood of his car
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize