apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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