smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
