so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
that is very illegal...i love you.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
