Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
