don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
