...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
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At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
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There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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