why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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