you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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