since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
