dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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