Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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