i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
How does it feel to date your dad?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
FUCK WHALES
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
