OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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