Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I will be naked everywhere
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
