I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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