this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
