just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Randomize
