the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
