you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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