whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
