OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
