Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
