Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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