Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize