and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
