So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
