What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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