if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
