Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
