uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
