$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
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it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize