If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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