just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
