I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize