Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
