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My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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