well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
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God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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