Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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