the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she peed on how many people?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
