The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.