did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.