Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I can't turn off my feet"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice