new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.